MAN OF A THOUSAND FECES

As a general rule, I don’t listen to anyone who starts a sentence with “you do realise”

cashcrab:

Waiter, I identify as the fly in my soup.

(Source: handglownglassbone)

When I first met him, Atlas was wearing a tshirt with The World Revolves Around ME emblazoned on the front of it.

“Oh, you’ll get used to me haha,” Atlas shrugged, “I just have Ayn Random sense of humour :P”